On this Monday before I head to San Fransisco and my next level Iyengar Yoga certification assessment, I am overwhelmed by quite a few emotions…it is also the 4th anniversary of Guruji, BKS Iyengar’s passing and I am also preparing to leave for India at the end of September.
Soooooo, a little excitement and a little terror…wrapped up in gratitude and joy.
Assessment can be stressful…a lot of years of study and practice and the not knowing of what I will face when I walk in the room to teach can be daunting…but it also brings up a strange determination of sharing this practice as fully and as completely as I know how!!
So many wonder why we put ourselves through it and why it takes so long, and so far I always have an answer! The amount that I learn about myself on EVERY LEVEL is outstanding and tangible and amazing! The boundaries and barriers that I overcome each time I face an assessment are fascinating, scary, and strength-inducing. The amount I have learned I may never even thought of if not for this system and process.
On this day, as I reflect on BKS Iyengar and his legacy of this system and method and process of making teachers, I can’t express enough of the gratitude I feel.
I only “met” him a few times and was only in a handful of classes that he “directed” through his granddaughter Abhi, but his presence and light and power were palpable. His passion for practice and teaching were visible and that same passion can be seen still passed down today. I am eager once again to be headed to the institute in Pune to soak up the energy left in that space by lifetimes of practice.
But first, I must allow that light of practice lit within me to shine brighter than the distractions and fears that my mind may conjure. I will call upon that strength that is beyond any strength I have ever felt before and hope that it will bring me steadiness within the storm of doubts and anxieties. I look forward to sharing in practice with friends and peers and seeing my teacher, no matter what the outcome…
And yes, the outcome…pass or not pass, I am still on this path and must prepare to have the learning and the journey be the steps…not the goal….
Thank you to Guruji and all teachers who have come before me to light my way…